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What’s the Difference Between a Coach and a Shrink?

How good is on-line therapy or coaching? Can you open up to someone you’ve never met in person? Is “telementalhealth” as good as face to face counseling? And how do you choose the right professional?

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Boundaries Change When Grown Kids Create Their Own

Separating from children is a lifelong task for all parents, and the boundaries between them change at every stage of family life. How parents respond when their kids couple off and establish a boundary around their relationship can, to a large extent, determine its success or failure.[i]  They are not only sons and daughters now; […]

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GUESS WHO’S NOT COMING HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS?

“Home for the Holidays” isn’t always the right place to be at a time when tensions, estrangements and difficult situations are likely to surface between the appetizers and the pumpkin pie. Maybe you should rethink whether or not to plan a different kind of Christmas dinner this year.

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Interdependence – The Goal of Maturity?

When is a grown child independent and why do we want them to be? Outside of the United States, most cultures see interdependence as a more harmonious, mutual way to live.

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When Grown Kids “Ghost” a Parent’s Wedding

Nobody really expected them, although the bride and groom, whose combined age exceeded 140 years, never truly gave up hope that their grown kids would show up for their wedding. “Ghosting” rituals that signify parental late-life re-partnering—engagement, marriage, or moving in together—is the most obvious expression of the loyalty conflicts many adult children feel when a divorced […]

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A Different Kind of Family Travel

When my kids were younger and I was richer, we traveled – initially on their school vacations, and later whenever time, money and circumstances allowed. It was how we celebrated Christmas after the divorce, ignoring the Hallmark hoopla and getting away to the nearest warm water and weather I could afford. Once we all learned […]

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The Stranger in the Bedroom

Recent graduates back for a detour on the road to real life? Postparenting coach advises getting to know the people they’ve become, not the kids they used to be.

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There Is No Perfect Mom, Rosie

What’s a parent to do when a teenager makes bad choices – and she’s only a few days from becoming an adult? Take the safety net off and put it under instead of over her, this postparenting expert advises.

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They’re Back in College, But You’re Still Worried

My postparent coach phone rings frequently after the holidays are over. The house  isrestored to order, and the kids, their clean laundry, and their second semester tuition check are back on campus. But their worried parents are unsettled by the strangers who just left. Sometimes it’s because they came home, dropped their bags, and disappeared. […]

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I Just Can’t Quit You, Jeff

The disclaimer comes first. In Amazon’s early days, I had a regular gig reviewing mystery novels — it was like being a taster at the chocolate factory! Still, it wasn’t enough to convince me to invest in their stock, which could then be had for even less than my occasional $50 review checks. As a […]