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Unsure About College? Should They Go Anyway?
Unsure About College? Should They Go Anyway?
“Why should I go to college when I don’t know what I want to do?” It’s a question many parents of teenagers hear as the end of high school approaches, even in families where college planning is well advanced, grades and SAT scores are college-worthy, and finances aren’t an issue.  “College...
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“Transition Fever” Peaks in Winter for Parents and Teens
“Transition Fever” Peaks in Winter for  Parents and Teens
April isn’t the cruelest month – it’s January, deadline time for college applications. While college transition fever first strikes  between junior SAT’s  and senior September, it peaks once the bids for admission are  in the mail.   Suddenly the realization that a big change is coming ...
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Anxiety Dreams – The Bag Lady Nightmare
Here’s how you know you’ve become a woman of a certain age: The anxiety dream that wakes you up in a cold sweat in the middle of the night isn’t the one about oversleeping your SAT’s, it’s the one about being a bag lady. In my version, I’m trying to sneak a shopping...
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You Can’t Make Your Adult Children Happy, So Stop Trying!
“How are the kids?”  It’s not always the first question we ask when we get together with old friends, but it usually comes right after “How long has it been?” If it’s been a long time, the kids are grown up now,  in their twenties or thirties or even their forties,...
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How to Know If Your Family Business Is Ruining Your Family’s Life
Here’s a quick quiz to help you determine if your family business is  having a negative impact on relationships in your family. FAMILY BUSINESS WORK/LIFE BOUNDARY QUIZ 1=never    2=sometimes    3=often   4=always My personal and business friends are the same people.     ________ When...
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When Does Postparenthood Start?
Post-Parenthood starts when your kids are old enough to vote and lasts as long as you do.  It’s the final evolution of your role as a parent, and it requires what may be the most difficult task of all: acknowledging that they are adults, with the right to lead their own lives, make their own choices,...
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Bonus Babies/Boomer Grandparents
We’re young and strong enough to be a real influence on our grandchildren’s lives and help our kids with the most difficult job of theirs. But we cause more harm than good when we take over their role as parents – this infantilizes them, compromises their independence, and undermines...
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Ask The Postparent Coach
They’re Ba..a..ck! These days many grown kids are coming back to the nest or finding it hard to leave. They may have failed in their initial attempts at independence or fear striking out on their own. With mutual agreement on the terms and conditions for living together and mutual respect for...
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Can’t My Grown Sibs Be Friends?
Can’t My Grown Sibs Be Friends?
We want our kids to love and support one another, but shared family history may not be enough to keep them together, especially if their lives, priorities and values are dissimilar. Often sibling rivalry that lasts into adulthood gets in the way of real connection. While our immediate impulse may be...
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Boundary Basics in the Family Business
What Are Boundaries? Mental structures that separate the parts of our minds from each other and also distinguish our minds from other people’s minds. Psychologically as well as physically, they are where I end and you begin. Interpersonal boundaries – the ones between people – are the building...
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